We went in for a normal doctors visit and left with some hard news. He needed surgery on his leg it was as serious as his leg or his life. The doctor was sure he could save both. He was confident. He was wrong.
We went in that day expecting him to come out healed and ready to go home in a few days. Instead the doctor said he couldn't do it. He failed. We took him home that day. Our family gathered around and we tried to smile and make it seem like all was ok. But I couldn't say those words.
I couldn't say it was ok.
I couldn't say it was all going to be fine.
I couldn't say let go.
I couldn't say goodbye.
I was selfish I wanted my grandpa to stay. I wanted him to see the great grandson that would be born 6 days after his death. I wanted him to be at my wedding. To say I love you one last time. I didn't get that. Instead this man that I loved so much is now in heaven. He is free of pain and walking the streets of gold. He is playing cards with my uncle dean and standing next to his parents.
I didn't get the answer to my prayers, I got even better. He is in a place better then I could imagine. All my tears from missing him are nothing compared to the joy he is feeling watching down on his great grandson or the painless days he is having. Thank you God for not answering my prayers.
In memory of:
Lawrence Marvin Bockhorn
