Behind the scenes: To Change The World

I recently had a conversation with a security guard at my job and he made a comment about how he could only take care if himself and not the whole world. And while he was strictly talking politically it got me thinking. Do people really think like that?? Do you think you can't change the world??

One of my favorite quotes is from an episode of smallville where superman says "I can't change the whole world, when I stop trying is when I believe that." 

Just think if every person truly believed that they could change the world all that we would accomplish. If every person just touched the lives around them how much of a better world would we live in. 

So go change the world. Every little thing counts. Pay for the person in line behind you at the super market, gas station, or drive thru. Give some cash to the homeless guy on the corner. Volenteer at the local soup kitchen. Get inolved with an angle tree this Christmas. Go on a mission trip. It doesn't matter how big or small just change the world. 

Websight review: ted.com

If you havn't seen, heard of, or visited the sight ted.com you are missing out. They have a series of videos called ted talks. These are thosands of videos of speechs on ever subject imaginable. Some of them are inspiring, some are creative, informative, and hilarious. I enchorage you to go and explore these videos!

I just finished ken robinson: how.schools kill creativity it is.number one on a list of top 11 videos you much watch if you are.new to.ted. You can find the link on the front page.
Enjoy!

Book Review: Blood of Requiem Book 1

Book one can be found on watt pad but the rest of the books in the series can only be found on amazon and Barnes and noble.com. 

This book was really good but sometimes had a slow pace. So I will rate it a 7 out of 10.

It's about a dyeing race of people who can magically turn in to Dragons. When the king's first born didn't have the gift he was denied his rightful place on the throne. That made him angry and he grew up to kill his father and all the others. Will the last remaining requiem be able to save their dyeing race?? 

Blast from the past: old church notes

2 Corinthians 4:18 while we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

2 Corinthians 8:9 for ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor that ye through poverty might be rich. 

Ph 3:14 I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

"We can't save everyone. When I believe that is when I stop trying." Smallville 

"We can't rejoice with the church down the street but we will rejoice when we get a new building." -Pastor Jack 

"We have no reason to fear man!"

"To he smart is to fear The Lord."

"We can't come to a state of repentence until we know God is God" Scott 

"God is God all by himself." 

Kids quotes: 

"We can have faith to move a mountain."

"You can't see faith"

"Little faith can do big things."

"Listen to God and don't choose the wrong apple."

:) found them in an old note book thought I would share :) 

Behind The Scenes: A Look Into The Regret Of Your Past

People always have answer to the question what is the one thing you regret from your past. They come up with the first time the drank alcohol or the time they quit their first job. People regret their exs or that they didn't try in highschool. Lot's of people regret not going to college or not chaceing after their dreams.

Most people will also say that they like who.they are as a person or where they ended up in life. But what they don't realize is that to get to where they are today, they had to go through all thw things of there past. Jist one change.in the events that make up your past could have.drastically changed.who you are today.

Every guy or girl you dated that didnt work.out helped you to figure out.what you like and what you don't like. Every mistake you made you learned from and it built you. You wouldnt be who you are today without al of your memories the good and the bad.

A poem: Remember

God makes pearls from sand
So when.the pressure is.too much
And its all you can do to stand
Remember that
He is making a pearl out of sand.

God builds a diamond out of dirty coal
So when you have.hit.rock bottom
And you feel like you could never be whole
Remeber that
He has to remove all the dirt to reveal the diamond.

Scene 8: One months probation

     My parents have bought me and I have bought my self a million books about dating over the years. Now I havn't always agreed with the advice written on those pages. It did however serve as help to develop my own conclusions on what dating should be.     
      I believe in dating. Not as a sport, or a past time, but, as a tool to find that one person that you wish to spend the rest of your life with. I also believe in protecting your heart because thats where your life flows from.            
      So my first rule for dating is never.date anyone that you dont see the potential of spending the rrst of your life with. Then you give it a month to see if your compatible. After a month if you find things you couldn't spend the rest of your life with don't waste your time.   you're only going to hurt yourself in the other one by getting attached to someone you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with. 
     Ive always thought that I would get married right out of highschool. That I would quickly start my family because life is too short. But I've learned somthing else. Life is too short, but more then that ive learned that you are only young once. All my dreams and plans for the future would not have come true if I had a family at a young age.
       The last conclusion I have come too is that there are millions of people on this planets. Billions of different people who live different lifes. So why settle for anything less then the best for you. Why lower your standards just to settle down. When there are proably thoasands of people that match your perfect image of.your perfect other half.
      So I guess thats another reason me and and the internet guy didnt work. We wefe together a month and I only saw him 5 times. And I would have been ok with that except he never talked to me either. A handful of texts and a couple phone calls.
     I want a best friend. Someone I can spend the rest of my life talking to laughing with. Someone who wants to talk to me always. I wont settle for anything less!
     A wise lady once told me to never say what you dont want because what you believe is what comes true. So I will have my happy ever after!

Chapter 3: The Book I Will Never Finish

What am I doing? A date. That is not the way to get close to her. But When she looked at me like that God I got butterflies in my stomach. I have been alive for thousands of years. I served in courts to queens and I have never met anyone as beautiful as Serena. I have to get her to believe that she is the awakener. Nothing will work if she doesn't awaken her own powers and the others. Draco is getting closer to finding us and I will not loose this battle. It took me all this time to track down the lineage of the original awakener. I tracked Selena through her ancestors who are direct descendants of Irene. She was part of the original Council over the Habachies. She too was beautiful. I met her once at a ball for one of the princes in the land. Designed to find a princess suitable for the throne. She walked with a grace that only came with years as royalty. But even with all her grace and her air of nobility her beauty did not compare to the woman standing on the other side of this door getting ready for a date with me. When my shaky hand found the door nothing could have preparec me for the beauty that stood at the open door. Selena stood with her dark hair draped down the back of her perfectly curved body wrapped in a silky red dress hugging at all the right places. Her brown eyes peirceing as they stared confussed and interested. "Are you just going to stand there or are we going to go somwhere?" Her voice shatterted my thoughts. "yes yes of course, let us proceed. Your limo is awaiting madamn." And I presented her with my arm which she hesintly took. We headed toward the lobby to start a night that was sure to hold many suprises.

Chapter 2: The Book I Will Never Finish

Selena 

        I sat up in bed drenched in sweat and tangled up in the ivory sheets that draped my bed. It was always the same. I woke up from this dream that seemed do real I could almost smell the smoke lingering on my clothes. It was horrible every time, it never got easy to see. Even it was just a dream. It was just a dream right? 

        If I closed me eyes I could still see him standing among all the bodies. Every time I saw him I had a deep urge to reach out and wipe away the single tear that slid down the mud and ash in his cheeks. His eyes a beautiful shade of blue, but so filled with hate, fear, and udder sadness. I wasn't for sure how he was involved. Since he was the only one left alive it brought suspicion that he was the one that brought the evil upon these people. But the look in his eyes. Those told another story. They told the story of hatred and revenge against the people who destroyed his people. That's the one my heart urges me to believe. But my reason still screamed he was dangerous. But what did it matter he didn't actually exist. Did he??

         I got out of bed, shaking off the remnants of the dream. I walked over to my bathroom the only room that had a door in my little single studio apartment. I was grateful for this little room I could lock myself into. Drown all my tears for these dream people in pouring rain of my shower. I scrubbed my skin till it was raw trying to rid myself of the pictures of all those people laying lifeless. A whole city. Men, women, and children alike all with blank eyes staring up into the sky. 

         I got out of the shower and turned the radio up. Blasting out every thought of death with Colby Callie and Jason Mraz. By the time I was ready for work I had buried all thoughts of the dream to the back of my thoughts.  

         I get in my car and head towards the university with clear thoughts ready to start my day. I am a professor or art at the university of Arizona.  It's in early November so the weather is gorgeous so I roll the windows down and let the breeze erase all worries of the dream being real. I would loose myself in my work. I love my students. My favorite class is after the high schools get out for the day. I have a group of amazing teenagers that come in from the area high schools to work with me in my studio. They are amazing students. This year the talent is so incredible I know each of them will soar to amazing heights. 

          Today we were sketching from a real life model. I would enjoy focusing on the small details today. Helping them curve the lines of there hips and shade just perfectly the color of their eyes. I didn't know who the agency was sending over but it didn't matter, there was such beauty in the human body. How it curved in all the right places. How you could capture the bee essence of their soul in the depths of their eyes. 

         The day flew by quickly with my anticipation if my favorite class if the day. 4 o'clock rolled around and my favorite students started in the door. There were 14 all together and they bustled in and to there seats around the circle, noisily sharing today's event with each other. I was busy helping my favorite student Sophia set up her supplies when I heard the door open. Assuming it was the model I turned around to greet them and I froze. It can't be him. It's just a dream. He doesn't exist. 

        "Hello I'm Devin Ires. The agency sent me to this room. Am I in the right place?" 

       His smile was dazzling. Full of confidence but not cocky. I must of stared too long because he started to turn and leave. 

       "No," I said, "your in the right place. My apologies you just look like someone I know. If you want to come stand I'm the middle here we will get started. You can stand how ever is comfortable for to stand for a long period of time." 

        He moved with the grace of a dancer gliding to the middle of the circle. His arms crisscrossed at the bottom of his shirt and he grabbed the seam and pulled it over head. A visible gasp was heard as his cheat was exposed and I was surprised when the same reaction rose my lips as well.

        He positioned him self to stare out the window and the students set about with their sketch pencils. He was settled into a deep stare and I swore I could see that same feeling of hate and sadness deep in eyes that I have seen so many times I'm the eyes of the boy from my dreams. 

        I walked around the room drowning in memories of the dream. Trying desperately to sift through the fog and help my students capture the olive tone of his skin and the harsh lines of his abs. He had diamond blue eyes that was a odd contrast to darker tone of his skin.  And his charcoal color hair that fell shaggy and close to those soul shattering eyes. 

        The class ended all too quickly and the students began packing up their things. I set about distracting my self by absently sifting through papers on my desk. I must have been doing a good job because I didn't notice that the class has all left, and Devin was the only one left, he had returned his shirt to it's rightful place and he was standing so close I could reach out and feel the abs that I knew lay under the thin fabric. 

       "Hello," he chuckled when his voice made me jump. "This guy I look like must have had quite an impression on you." 

        "Ummmm," I stuttered, "he ummm well is just." 

        "It's fine you don't have to explain."

         I sighed safe from an explication that would only land me in the looney bin. 

         "I'm new to town and I don't really know anybody around here yet," he said. "I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me tonight? That's if your boyfriend doesn't mind" 

         I stared at him dumbfounded an he chuckled. I jumped. "O ummm I don't have a boyfriend." 

         "Fantastic, it's just hard to imagine a beautiful young women like your self single. I will pick you up at 7 then?" 

         "Ummm yea sure. I guess." 

         "Forgive me but I'm not psychic you will have to tell me where you live?" He said with a sly smile. 

        "O yes of course." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I scribbled the address to my apartment building. I'm going on a date with a man I met in a dream...  

Chapter one: the book I will never finish.

     The darkness is all around me, consuming me and swallowing me into the deep. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I feel... Nothing. I feel the world pulling me and tugging me back. I fight it I don want to return to that wretched place. I would rather be lost in this nothingness. Drifting through the blank on the brink of non existence, but fate had another plan and I could feel it pulling so hard until I gasped breathing in the smoke and the air of the real world. 

       I could feel the sadness and death thick I'm the air around me. I could small the pain and the blood. It was sickening. Everything came rushing back to me in a instant and I turned my head and relieved my stomach of its feeble contents. 

        I drug my sluggish body to its feet. The pain searing through my limbs like fire. I stand there alone in a field of dead bodies. Smoke filling there air coming from the remnants of what used to be my home. My eyes search the field of death but it seems I am the last one standing. I am the sole survivor of a war so great it killed an entire nation. I am the sole survivor of the Habachies. I am Ires. It seems fate has another ending and at the brink of death it pulls me back to save a generation that is already lost. There must be someone who ran. Someone who is hiding in the mountains. Someone who fled to the woods before all of this began. Someone got away or why would I still be here. I must find them the fate of the world relies on it. 

      

Behind the scenes: Tips of the trade

1. When learning the 9 times table hold both hands up and count by the lower number and put that finger down and that is you answer. Example: 2 times 9 equals 18 If you put your 2nd finger down you have 1 finger on one side and 8 on the other.

2. If you want fresh french fries from the drive thru ask for fries with no salt. And then have them give you salt packets at the window.

3. If you can't get your eyeliner off try putting a bunch of lotion on under your eye and then wiping it off.

4. Try using toothpaste to clean your headlights.

5. When you scramble your eggs put milk in them to make them fluffier.

6. When putting on mascara start from the inside and go to the outside to make the fluffy look.

7. If you keep blinking while putting on your eye make up try holding your mouth open.

8. When you wash your face push it to the outside or you will just leave the dirt on your face.

9. Use clear nail polish to fix runs in your panty hose.

10. If your I pod or your I phone or your I pad freezes up or isnt working you can force quit by holding the power button and the home button till it shuts off.

Behind the Scenes: A kiss in the rain

  

       I have always had a dream about sharing that perfect moment under a shower of rain. Being so in love that the world stops spinning every time your eyes meet and that even though your getting soaked to the bone in a horrendous down pour you have to stop in that moment for kiss. Then to share a laugh as you run for cover after that perfect moment.
      I have a painting that I did of a couple standing in the rain kissing. It is one of my most prized possessions and always hangs in the center of my wall. When someone asks about it I always tell them the story if that perfect kiss. And always with good intentions the guys try and make it happen. But its not something that can be forced or a moment that can be made. And while all those kisses were special they just were not THAT kiss. That kiss is something that I have yet to find. But a dream that will never die.    If you have shared that perfect moment in a down pour of rain or perhaps somewhere else that is totally insane email me your story so I can share it on my blog! briana.freeland2@gmail.com!

Behind the scenes: Tells

  
  I think every one has their tells. You know a certain way they act when there happy or upset. Once you get to know someone you really figure them out. With out even asking you can tell what they are feeling. This really falls to a best friend someone you have spent hours around and know pretty much every thing about them.
     I used to have people in my life that knew these tells. Some could even tell by a single text message when  I was upset and never failed to ask what was wrong. If any of you read the book Impulse by Ellen Hopkins which I rated in a previous blog she described a girl that I think closely resembles myself. She describes her feelings with colors. Some times she is blissfully riding the white, while other times she is deep into the blue. That's how I am. Up and down on a rainbow rollarcoaster. One moment I am riding the high and the next I deep into the tunnel of blues.
     I blame this on my tendency to over think things. I have so much time to sit and think that I think of all the possible out comes of ever situation and I dwell on the bad ones. I am doing that now. Over thinking my relationship with Starbucks guy. You see with him living 1 hour and a half a way we haven't got to see each all that often. Which makes it hard because we don't know each other as well as we should for having known each other for as long as we have. I don't know his tells and he doesn't know mine. That upsets me. I need time. I want those 3am talks that we only shared once, I want them almost nightly. But it seems to me that we barely talk. And I pointed this out to him but he says we have just run out of things to say. But then why is it that I can sit and talk for hours everyday with someone I have known for years. If we are going to make a life together we have to be able to talk. And I bring this all up because if he would have known my tells he would have known that I have been over thinking things for quite a few days now. But its all things that come with time spent together and we haven't had the privilege to share that time together. I NEED FRIENDS OUT HERE!!

      And a little extra tid bit. I finally got a job after all of my searching.  I will be working for an old man clothing store called Haggars. I am pretty excited :)

Book review: impulse by Ellen Hopkins

Impulse by Ellen Hopkins

Act

                  On your impulse,

                  Swallow the bottle,

                  Cut a little deeper,

                  Put the gun to your chest. 

                  

     Ellen Hopkins is one of my favorite authors. She has a very elegant way with her words as se shapes her stories into poetry. 

      Impulse was no different. Conner, Tony, and Vanessa are three teenagers who's lives never crossed until now. Just like all the rest of Hopkins' novels these characters go through some really trying things. She covers suicide, murder, depression, cutting, being gay, sexual abuse, physical abuse abortion and bi polar disorder. Real issues that not many authors are brave enough to cover in the way Hopkins does. 

      It's a great story but I would grab your tissues before you get to the end! 

I give this story a 4 out of 5 rating. 

Enjoy!