Mexicans in America

You know I have always agreed with the majority of Americans that they shouldn't have rights and we are letting too many over here. People are always complaining no one speaks english and our tax payers money are going to giving them benifits that we are selves don't get. 

Then my thoughts changed when some one took there theory back to the thoughts of our for fathers and the very principles of which our country was born. 

We are a melting pot of all religions and cultures. I doubt many could trace their family line back and be full blooded Native American because those are the only true Americans and they are getting the short end of the stick. You live in a country made of immigrants don't stop them now. 

Don't

You've never walked a mile in my shoes 

You've never seen the cracks

Lining the walls of my heart 

Nor felt the pain of the many tears I've cried

You've  never read a single page of my story 

You've never heard a line to my life's song

Nor seen me at my worst 

So don't expect to understand my decisions

Don't expect to know how I'm feeling

Because those walls have long since been up 

I mean every word I say 

Every time I say I love you 

I mean every syllable

Every time my heart beats 

It's trying to make someone else happy 

But time and time again

I have gotten hurt

So when I see things 

And know they are not going to work out 

I'm not going to waste my time. 

I'm sorry if someone gets hurt along the way 

But that's life. 

We all get hurt and we all keep breathing

Because we have too. 

But before you make judgements 

Or believe you understand 

Just know you don't see the whole picture 

Just the chapter that your in. 

Christmas

My Christmas list: 

1. An acrylic art set 

2. 6 canvas 

3. 28 permanent markers

4. A coin purse made by disabled Chinese children. 

5. A Chinese leather bound journal

6. 2 dresses 

7. A necklace

8. A sweater 

And...an iPhone 5c blue!!!!!! 

But more then all that I got two days spent with wonderful family full of laughs and games and great food. I would trade all the presents in the world for days like those! 

A God we dont understand

All through history humanity has invented gods to worship. When they invent these gods its Gods.they can understand. Because how can 1 God be omnipresent or have created all of creation by them selves. So Greek mythology shows us many gods all singularily over one thing. Like the.God of the love and the.god of war. But the christain God the only God is a God that we in our carnal minds cannot and will never understand.

Joshua 3:10 speaks of a living God. Only a living God has the ability to interact and to.change.

People adapted the idea of one being because they can understand it. I began looking into the trinity and only barly to i grasp on to understanding it. But thats ok i can not understand a being like God. He knows ALL and i cany begin to grasp the science of it all. We shouldnt in our fear of the unknown try and bring God down to a level we can understand.

The bible is clear when it comes to the trinity as three seprete beings, for three seperte reasons, made of the same thing.

In John 14:26 Jesus says But the comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whome The Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrence what so ever I have said unto you.

John 14:28 He says I go unto my Father; for my Father is greater then I.

He specifically talks as though they are three different beings.

The easieast way i can describe the trinity is by H2O. Water, steam, and ice are all made of H2O but are very different things for different reasons.

He is three in one.

Confuseing I know but.i dont claim to be on the same intellectual level as the God who created the entire existance of everything.

10 things you may or may not know about me.

1. I didnt grow up in church. My family started faithfully attending when i was in highschool.

2. I attended 4 different highschools and no i wasnt an army brat.

3. Im a pk through and through. Me and my dad used to sit up at thw dinning room table and have bibles spread across in all different versions.

4. When i was a kid i hated dressing up it was jeans and a tshirt through and through.

5. My mom didnt let me start shaving my legs till i was in 8th grade.

6. She didnt let me wear makeup till half way through my sophmore year.

7. A cat died in my bath tub.

8. I once wrote a letter to someone claiming they had won the award for the ugliest person in the world and we later became good friends because of it.

9. I played the alto saxaphone in junior high.

10. I did color guard in high school and dream of couching it one day.

A man's role in the house

First off let me start by saying i am a firm believer in divorce is NOT an option. I think that marriage should be carfully concidered and once decided upon should not be broken. Things should be fixed not thrown away. (granit things do not count like abuse)

I think that men should be men. I once took a bible study course with my mom about how to treat a man. And in this study it decribed how our society has womenized men. I know women have fought it for years but we really were made different. Men are strong where women are emotional. Men think with their heads where women think with their hearts. Men are tough and women are loving. Its these differences they make us work so well together. Its also why i believe we shouldnt have a women president we think too much with our emotions.

I just think that a man should be head of the household. Not obsessive or controling but a leader. Some one who can lead his family spirtualy, emotionally, and finacially. Do i think the women should stay home and have no say in the descions in matters?? Absolutly not. I think that we balance each other. Behind every good man stood a better woman.

Just a thought for the day.

Behind the scenes: depression

Depression is like a blanket of black swollowing you whole. It enters through your mouth like a poison and wraps itself around every organ beneath your ribs squeezing so hard you for get how to breath and your stomach lerches wishing to relieve the food thats not there because you cant eat.

Saddness fills you to the core. Inching like ice from your heart till it sits directly behind your eyes. You shiver from the cold radiating from the inside if your self.

You search the future for that happy moment that once made you happy but its bleak as a black and white movie. Depression has covered your thoughts like leaches determened to suck you dry of everything that makes you want to breath.

You close your eyes and try to breath but the darkness pounds down even harder. Swollowing you whole.

Finnally you give up. No more will to fight. No more will to keep searching for the happiness that you are sure no longer exsists. Its just darkness. Just darkness and cold and hoplessness.

Behind the scenes: Thanks

Wow. Another year another thanks giving. When I sit here and look back at all that has happened in the pasy year it is incredable. I have been through so many things...i hit rock bottom only to get back up and climb that ladder again. I still struggle but who doesnt.

I am thankful for those that have walked into this new chapter of my life and gratful for those who left foot prints on my heart on the way out.

God has continued to be amazing and blessing me beyond measure.

I am thankful for family that I havnt seen in forever but now get to call home.

I am thankful for my job and the peopke in it.

I am thinkful for meeting my best friend and soul mate. He means the world to me. He is there for me when I need somone and he never lets me down. It was love at first sight. And we werent the only ones to see it. Even his dog seemed to know I was coming in to stay.

I am thankful for all my friends and family back home that supported my move and let me know they are always there for me. (like sending me boxes full of stuff to remind me of our friendship right when I needed it.) I miss them so much!

But more then possesions and worldly things im thankful to still be a living breathing child of God.

Have a happy thanksgiving people and remeber its not about the turkey!

Movie review: catching fire

Catching Fire - http://pinterest.com/pin/129197083034019618/

I think the did a fanomanal job of turning the second.book of the hunger game series catching fire into an action pack move. The two and a half hour movie kept you on the edge of your seat the whole time.

The uplifting story of hope and rebelling is very good and I cant wait to see the next one!

I give it a 9 out of 10!

Digging in: matthew 27 51_24

MAT27.51.KJV And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

I think this is one of the many amazing things that Jesus did for us when he died. The veil of temple was used to keep everyone who was not a priest from getting.into the inner most courts and to the holy of holies. This is the place where God speaks to us. When the veil was torn it was because he rebuilt the bridge allowing us to go straight to the father!

And what about this other scripture? Were there zombies walking around?

And then that raises the question did they ever go to heaven or hell or were they just "sleeping" in their graves??

Let me know what you think!

Behind The Scenes: A look into me :)

About a year ago a very special women to me noticed that I was in a really emotional slump. Things were not exactly going my way or the way I predicted them to go. So she suggested that I write 100 reasons of what makes me. I found it in my google drive just recently and its amazing how much my life has changed in only a year. So I have decided to re write it and show it to you here :). Let me know what you all think! I would love to hear about what makes you who you are. One Hundred Things (That Make Me: Me) By Briana Freeland Remember when you were a kid and your room was covered with your favorite things. You had posters on the walls of your favorite band, your bed was covered with your favorite colors, and your Ipod had all your favorite music. Your room expressed who you were by the things you love. The things you love make you who you are. They drive your passions and your passions drive your desire and your desire drives you decisions. When I think about what drives me I think about a lot of things. Take for instance I didn’t take the easy way out and write a simple list of 100 hundred things I love. Why?? Well because I love to see words play out in a story. I love how they fit together and paint a picture. I’ve recently started writing again. Playing with words on paper. I love to see the places you can go with your words. I think loving words so much leads me to my love of music. I know people say that they listen to music for the beat but I listen for the words. I love a song more if I can connect with the lyrics. Each song tells a story and holds feelings that really do exsist. Thats another reason why I love signing so much it is an expression of feelings and emotions in a different way. It is a beautiful language that uses expressions to mean what you are saying. It paints a picture with your words. And the amazing thing is when there are no more words to express what you are you are feeling it can all come out when you put the paint brush in the paint and lay it on the canvas. My most recent painting was one with crayons glued to the top and the melted like rain over a couple under an unbrella. It represents my dreams of having a love that is so strong even the rain can’t stop it. (I have painted a few more but they are still all on that one kiss in the rain. And this past year I have been able to reflect on what that really is. I always thought it was the action of just getting kissed in the rain. But really its the feeling of being with some one and wanting to kiss them so much the rain and nothing else matters.) I love people. It never matters if they do anything for me or if they even love me back. I just have an unconditional love for everyone I come in contact with. I think that comes with the realization that every one has a story. Everyone has pain in their past. Every has some one that has hurt them and things that have made them who they are. The bully doesn’t bully the kid because he likes to bully, there is more to his story. A story of a broken home or abuse or loss. So you never know and I think that's why I can look past every thing Jackie has done to me at work (The Pharmacy. She has been so hurt in her life. She lost her dad. She lost the churches love just because she was doing what she thought was right for her family. In my love for people I fell in love with Jackie. The night we spent around the bonfire at moriah I fell in love. We spilled everything that night. All of our deepest darkest secrets were put out on the table. We told each other everything. And the most amazing thing was when he knew all my faults and my mistakes and he still wanted me. Then it began to evolve from that into much more. We grew deep feelings for each other. And honestly I didn’t let go because my heart was over him or because I don’t still love him with all my heart, I let go because I know him. I know him sometimes better then he does. And I want him to be happy and that wasn’t with me. It never really was. He always had feeling for some other girl. So I will continue to love him unconditionally, but instead of showing it by the little things I have done over the years I will love him from a distance. Let him be happy. Eventually I believe I will be move on enough for me to be happy with some one else. But for now he is still a big part of who I am. (We were together for three years so he will always really be a part of who I am but I realize now that I was being made into the person that I am today so I could be prepared to be the wife I need to be for my future husband. I learned a lot from our relationship I am glad it happened but I am even happier that it is over. Because I found a love I didn't even know existed in a place I wasn't even looking.) I love the colors blue and green. They are bright and are natural colors. Blue like the sky and green like the grass. (Blue is still my favorite color and green happens to be that love's favorite color.) Which leads me to my love for the outdoors. I love being outside. Hiking, exploring, feeling the sun on your back and the wind in your hair. There is so much beauty in creation. The mountains and forests that paint this world do beautifully. (We actually just took a trip to Mt. Lemmon where we went hiking.)

I love to capture this beauty with pictures. The way a tree looks when you capture it in the wind and light just the right way. When you can catch a drop falling from the petals of a flower in the early morning. Kids. Gosh I feel like thats all I have to say. I love them. They are so innocent and shapeable. Just to think that I have the chance to entirely shape someones future is what moves me to become a teacher and to learn how to teach and shape a brighter future for this next generation. My passion for kids and my love for people is what pushes me so much in my relationship with God. I have such a hunger to see people free from the things that bind them. The sickness and the depression. I think sometimes this passion is good and sometimes its not. Sometimes I forget about my self and the things I need because I try so hard to make things better for everyone else. The one thing I’ve let be an escape for myself is reading. Its like going to another world. Being another person with other problems. And the best part of books and stories is usually their problems get resolved. That is the same for acting. I get to be someone else for just a little while. Someone who has confidence and other things I sometimes don’t have. Well I know this isn’t anywhere near 100 but I can’t really think of anything I love and makes me who I am. In a nutshell I love to create whether it be something like a poem or a painting or something different entirely like someones future. That’s who I am. I am a creator and a lover.

Chapter 4: The Book I Will Never Finish

Draco:

This place sickens me. I can almost smell the poverty on these people dressed in hammy down riches and spending thir rent money so they can feel rich for one night. These peasants will never know what its like to be rich. O how I missed the days of the court. The days when your eyes could go weeks with out giving a second glance at the beggers that sat out side the castle gates. Now people are all about feeding the hungry and all people are created equal. Posh! That is ridiculous you can look around and I amm obviously a higher breed then these peasants who feel the need to feel better then they actually are.

Finnally, the girl. I see her walk through the door and I am suprised by her beauty. It's quite stunnning actually and takes me back to many nights I have accompianed many young ladies of the court deep into the night. I am not aftter a night in the bed room howerver, I am here to kill her. And much more satisfactory then feeling her hair in my hands and the gentle skin of her breast against my finger tips will be feeling my hands gripped around her neck and her life being sucked out of her body from sheer power of my will. Yes that will be much more satisfactory. You see if I let her live her and her new little sode kick there will destroy all of my plans that I have been working towards for hundresds of years. I am so close to raiseing the Dark Lord. Imagaine the place I will have next to him after I succed in raiseing himback to his rightful place on the throne. But this girl will soon beleive she can stop me. I have to get to her before she believes that. The wait staff sits them at a table not far from mine. And as she starts to sit down I consentrate on the legs of the chair and they snap beneath her weight. The wait staff scrambles to pick her up and get her a new chair. And from the look on her face ruining this dear girls night will not be that hard. They find her a new chair and this time I don't waste my will on her chair. I focus instead on the glass in which they are pouring her some water and it tips and spills into her lap. With a shriek she stands and rushes to the bathroom pushing the wait staff out of the way. I casully stand up and follow her to the bathroom leaving her stunned companion in shock at the table. I knock on the bathroom door and hear her voice from inside. "Go away." "I'm sorry to bother you but I was sitting at a table near yours and I saw what happened and I think there is sopmthing you aught to know." The door opened slightly and she looked me up in down. "What are you here to tell me that a girl such a my self doesn't belong in a place like this. Becuase I will agree with you so you don't have to bother." "Absolutly not! I would never dream of saying such nonsense! I just thought you should know that the gentlmen sitting with you at your table was resposible for those incidents." "What? How do you expect me to believe that." "I don't expect you to believe me I just would like to tell you what I saw. He kicked the chair from underneath you and tiped over that glass when you wern't looking. I expect he is just trying to get you to give up and go home so he can take advntage of you." "That is crazy and I don't believe you!" She said as she slamed the door in my face. But she did believe me I saw it in her eyes. I had brought thoughts that she had already feared. I made my way back to my seat and watched her slip out the door un noticed by her companion still sitting at the table glancing at his watch.

Scene 9: Modeling School

My first day of class…. Every class has this one person that is the annoying one…well we got the Queen of annoying her self. She looks like marida from Brave. She was just one of those people who NEVER shut up. And our teacher made the mistake of telling us to be ourselves in class. Lucky us :) Speaking of our teacher. She is a first timer and our class is her first so I will give her the benefit of the doubt when she was a little scatter brained and she kept saying this is what they taught but I don’t do that.. Not exactly the greatest example. I kinda bonded with two other people in the class. One is a gorgeous 21 year old black and sassy newly wed that doesn’t have near enough self confidence as she should. She recently moved here with her husband from Washington DC. I look forward to getting to know her more. Then there was Marco and I can tell he will quickly become one of my favorites. He is a freshman in highschool but is very mature for his age. When asked why he choose to come to Barbizon he said because I absolutely positively want to be a model. He enjoys spending time with his boyfriend and gets beat up in the locker room because of it  I hate bullies in any shape or form. There was a little 10 year old who has to be the most adorable of the class and she rocked the run way. Then there was a snobby litte preteen whom I know will only become more snobby after becoming a model. K There wasn’t really anyone else who stood out yet but I am sure they will after I get to know them a little better. I can’t wait till the acting portion of the classes but runway has been my favorite so far. Love Love Love. I will be sure to share all the tips of the trade with you guys as we learn them! This first class was pretty much just orientation! Can’t wait to see what the rest of the classes give me!! You guys should really start commenting on things I am beginning to think the only person reading these are my mom and boyfriend…and me… I should have a few more readers then that right?? Let me know. And if there is anything you guys want to hear about or know about me or know what my opinion is let me know. I will gladly take any ideas or suggestions on what to write about!

Behind the scenes: To Change The World

I recently had a conversation with a security guard at my job and he made a comment about how he could only take care if himself and not the whole world. And while he was strictly talking politically it got me thinking. Do people really think like that?? Do you think you can't change the world??

One of my favorite quotes is from an episode of smallville where superman says "I can't change the whole world, when I stop trying is when I believe that." 

Just think if every person truly believed that they could change the world all that we would accomplish. If every person just touched the lives around them how much of a better world would we live in. 

So go change the world. Every little thing counts. Pay for the person in line behind you at the super market, gas station, or drive thru. Give some cash to the homeless guy on the corner. Volenteer at the local soup kitchen. Get inolved with an angle tree this Christmas. Go on a mission trip. It doesn't matter how big or small just change the world. 

Websight review: ted.com

If you havn't seen, heard of, or visited the sight ted.com you are missing out. They have a series of videos called ted talks. These are thosands of videos of speechs on ever subject imaginable. Some of them are inspiring, some are creative, informative, and hilarious. I enchorage you to go and explore these videos!

I just finished ken robinson: how.schools kill creativity it is.number one on a list of top 11 videos you much watch if you are.new to.ted. You can find the link on the front page.
Enjoy!

Book Review: Blood of Requiem Book 1

Book one can be found on watt pad but the rest of the books in the series can only be found on amazon and Barnes and noble.com. 

This book was really good but sometimes had a slow pace. So I will rate it a 7 out of 10.

It's about a dyeing race of people who can magically turn in to Dragons. When the king's first born didn't have the gift he was denied his rightful place on the throne. That made him angry and he grew up to kill his father and all the others. Will the last remaining requiem be able to save their dyeing race?? 

Blast from the past: old church notes

2 Corinthians 4:18 while we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

2 Corinthians 8:9 for ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor that ye through poverty might be rich. 

Ph 3:14 I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

"We can't save everyone. When I believe that is when I stop trying." Smallville 

"We can't rejoice with the church down the street but we will rejoice when we get a new building." -Pastor Jack 

"We have no reason to fear man!"

"To he smart is to fear The Lord."

"We can't come to a state of repentence until we know God is God" Scott 

"God is God all by himself." 

Kids quotes: 

"We can have faith to move a mountain."

"You can't see faith"

"Little faith can do big things."

"Listen to God and don't choose the wrong apple."

:) found them in an old note book thought I would share :) 

Behind The Scenes: A Look Into The Regret Of Your Past

People always have answer to the question what is the one thing you regret from your past. They come up with the first time the drank alcohol or the time they quit their first job. People regret their exs or that they didn't try in highschool. Lot's of people regret not going to college or not chaceing after their dreams.

Most people will also say that they like who.they are as a person or where they ended up in life. But what they don't realize is that to get to where they are today, they had to go through all thw things of there past. Jist one change.in the events that make up your past could have.drastically changed.who you are today.

Every guy or girl you dated that didnt work.out helped you to figure out.what you like and what you don't like. Every mistake you made you learned from and it built you. You wouldnt be who you are today without al of your memories the good and the bad.

A poem: Remember

God makes pearls from sand
So when.the pressure is.too much
And its all you can do to stand
Remember that
He is making a pearl out of sand.

God builds a diamond out of dirty coal
So when you have.hit.rock bottom
And you feel like you could never be whole
Remeber that
He has to remove all the dirt to reveal the diamond.

Scene 8: One months probation

     My parents have bought me and I have bought my self a million books about dating over the years. Now I havn't always agreed with the advice written on those pages. It did however serve as help to develop my own conclusions on what dating should be.     
      I believe in dating. Not as a sport, or a past time, but, as a tool to find that one person that you wish to spend the rest of your life with. I also believe in protecting your heart because thats where your life flows from.            
      So my first rule for dating is never.date anyone that you dont see the potential of spending the rrst of your life with. Then you give it a month to see if your compatible. After a month if you find things you couldn't spend the rest of your life with don't waste your time.   you're only going to hurt yourself in the other one by getting attached to someone you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with. 
     Ive always thought that I would get married right out of highschool. That I would quickly start my family because life is too short. But I've learned somthing else. Life is too short, but more then that ive learned that you are only young once. All my dreams and plans for the future would not have come true if I had a family at a young age.
       The last conclusion I have come too is that there are millions of people on this planets. Billions of different people who live different lifes. So why settle for anything less then the best for you. Why lower your standards just to settle down. When there are proably thoasands of people that match your perfect image of.your perfect other half.
      So I guess thats another reason me and and the internet guy didnt work. We wefe together a month and I only saw him 5 times. And I would have been ok with that except he never talked to me either. A handful of texts and a couple phone calls.
     I want a best friend. Someone I can spend the rest of my life talking to laughing with. Someone who wants to talk to me always. I wont settle for anything less!
     A wise lady once told me to never say what you dont want because what you believe is what comes true. So I will have my happy ever after!

Chapter 3: The Book I Will Never Finish

What am I doing? A date. That is not the way to get close to her. But When she looked at me like that God I got butterflies in my stomach. I have been alive for thousands of years. I served in courts to queens and I have never met anyone as beautiful as Serena. I have to get her to believe that she is the awakener. Nothing will work if she doesn't awaken her own powers and the others. Draco is getting closer to finding us and I will not loose this battle. It took me all this time to track down the lineage of the original awakener. I tracked Selena through her ancestors who are direct descendants of Irene. She was part of the original Council over the Habachies. She too was beautiful. I met her once at a ball for one of the princes in the land. Designed to find a princess suitable for the throne. She walked with a grace that only came with years as royalty. But even with all her grace and her air of nobility her beauty did not compare to the woman standing on the other side of this door getting ready for a date with me. When my shaky hand found the door nothing could have preparec me for the beauty that stood at the open door. Selena stood with her dark hair draped down the back of her perfectly curved body wrapped in a silky red dress hugging at all the right places. Her brown eyes peirceing as they stared confussed and interested. "Are you just going to stand there or are we going to go somwhere?" Her voice shatterted my thoughts. "yes yes of course, let us proceed. Your limo is awaiting madamn." And I presented her with my arm which she hesintly took. We headed toward the lobby to start a night that was sure to hold many suprises.

Chapter 2: The Book I Will Never Finish

Selena 

        I sat up in bed drenched in sweat and tangled up in the ivory sheets that draped my bed. It was always the same. I woke up from this dream that seemed do real I could almost smell the smoke lingering on my clothes. It was horrible every time, it never got easy to see. Even it was just a dream. It was just a dream right? 

        If I closed me eyes I could still see him standing among all the bodies. Every time I saw him I had a deep urge to reach out and wipe away the single tear that slid down the mud and ash in his cheeks. His eyes a beautiful shade of blue, but so filled with hate, fear, and udder sadness. I wasn't for sure how he was involved. Since he was the only one left alive it brought suspicion that he was the one that brought the evil upon these people. But the look in his eyes. Those told another story. They told the story of hatred and revenge against the people who destroyed his people. That's the one my heart urges me to believe. But my reason still screamed he was dangerous. But what did it matter he didn't actually exist. Did he??

         I got out of bed, shaking off the remnants of the dream. I walked over to my bathroom the only room that had a door in my little single studio apartment. I was grateful for this little room I could lock myself into. Drown all my tears for these dream people in pouring rain of my shower. I scrubbed my skin till it was raw trying to rid myself of the pictures of all those people laying lifeless. A whole city. Men, women, and children alike all with blank eyes staring up into the sky. 

         I got out of the shower and turned the radio up. Blasting out every thought of death with Colby Callie and Jason Mraz. By the time I was ready for work I had buried all thoughts of the dream to the back of my thoughts.  

         I get in my car and head towards the university with clear thoughts ready to start my day. I am a professor or art at the university of Arizona.  It's in early November so the weather is gorgeous so I roll the windows down and let the breeze erase all worries of the dream being real. I would loose myself in my work. I love my students. My favorite class is after the high schools get out for the day. I have a group of amazing teenagers that come in from the area high schools to work with me in my studio. They are amazing students. This year the talent is so incredible I know each of them will soar to amazing heights. 

          Today we were sketching from a real life model. I would enjoy focusing on the small details today. Helping them curve the lines of there hips and shade just perfectly the color of their eyes. I didn't know who the agency was sending over but it didn't matter, there was such beauty in the human body. How it curved in all the right places. How you could capture the bee essence of their soul in the depths of their eyes. 

         The day flew by quickly with my anticipation if my favorite class if the day. 4 o'clock rolled around and my favorite students started in the door. There were 14 all together and they bustled in and to there seats around the circle, noisily sharing today's event with each other. I was busy helping my favorite student Sophia set up her supplies when I heard the door open. Assuming it was the model I turned around to greet them and I froze. It can't be him. It's just a dream. He doesn't exist. 

        "Hello I'm Devin Ires. The agency sent me to this room. Am I in the right place?" 

       His smile was dazzling. Full of confidence but not cocky. I must of stared too long because he started to turn and leave. 

       "No," I said, "your in the right place. My apologies you just look like someone I know. If you want to come stand I'm the middle here we will get started. You can stand how ever is comfortable for to stand for a long period of time." 

        He moved with the grace of a dancer gliding to the middle of the circle. His arms crisscrossed at the bottom of his shirt and he grabbed the seam and pulled it over head. A visible gasp was heard as his cheat was exposed and I was surprised when the same reaction rose my lips as well.

        He positioned him self to stare out the window and the students set about with their sketch pencils. He was settled into a deep stare and I swore I could see that same feeling of hate and sadness deep in eyes that I have seen so many times I'm the eyes of the boy from my dreams. 

        I walked around the room drowning in memories of the dream. Trying desperately to sift through the fog and help my students capture the olive tone of his skin and the harsh lines of his abs. He had diamond blue eyes that was a odd contrast to darker tone of his skin.  And his charcoal color hair that fell shaggy and close to those soul shattering eyes. 

        The class ended all too quickly and the students began packing up their things. I set about distracting my self by absently sifting through papers on my desk. I must have been doing a good job because I didn't notice that the class has all left, and Devin was the only one left, he had returned his shirt to it's rightful place and he was standing so close I could reach out and feel the abs that I knew lay under the thin fabric. 

       "Hello," he chuckled when his voice made me jump. "This guy I look like must have had quite an impression on you." 

        "Ummmm," I stuttered, "he ummm well is just." 

        "It's fine you don't have to explain."

         I sighed safe from an explication that would only land me in the looney bin. 

         "I'm new to town and I don't really know anybody around here yet," he said. "I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me tonight? That's if your boyfriend doesn't mind" 

         I stared at him dumbfounded an he chuckled. I jumped. "O ummm I don't have a boyfriend." 

         "Fantastic, it's just hard to imagine a beautiful young women like your self single. I will pick you up at 7 then?" 

         "Ummm yea sure. I guess." 

         "Forgive me but I'm not psychic you will have to tell me where you live?" He said with a sly smile. 

        "O yes of course." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I scribbled the address to my apartment building. I'm going on a date with a man I met in a dream...  

Chapter one: the book I will never finish.

     The darkness is all around me, consuming me and swallowing me into the deep. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I feel... Nothing. I feel the world pulling me and tugging me back. I fight it I don want to return to that wretched place. I would rather be lost in this nothingness. Drifting through the blank on the brink of non existence, but fate had another plan and I could feel it pulling so hard until I gasped breathing in the smoke and the air of the real world. 

       I could feel the sadness and death thick I'm the air around me. I could small the pain and the blood. It was sickening. Everything came rushing back to me in a instant and I turned my head and relieved my stomach of its feeble contents. 

        I drug my sluggish body to its feet. The pain searing through my limbs like fire. I stand there alone in a field of dead bodies. Smoke filling there air coming from the remnants of what used to be my home. My eyes search the field of death but it seems I am the last one standing. I am the sole survivor of a war so great it killed an entire nation. I am the sole survivor of the Habachies. I am Ires. It seems fate has another ending and at the brink of death it pulls me back to save a generation that is already lost. There must be someone who ran. Someone who is hiding in the mountains. Someone who fled to the woods before all of this began. Someone got away or why would I still be here. I must find them the fate of the world relies on it. 

      

Behind the scenes: Tips of the trade

1. When learning the 9 times table hold both hands up and count by the lower number and put that finger down and that is you answer. Example: 2 times 9 equals 18 If you put your 2nd finger down you have 1 finger on one side and 8 on the other.

2. If you want fresh french fries from the drive thru ask for fries with no salt. And then have them give you salt packets at the window.

3. If you can't get your eyeliner off try putting a bunch of lotion on under your eye and then wiping it off.

4. Try using toothpaste to clean your headlights.

5. When you scramble your eggs put milk in them to make them fluffier.

6. When putting on mascara start from the inside and go to the outside to make the fluffy look.

7. If you keep blinking while putting on your eye make up try holding your mouth open.

8. When you wash your face push it to the outside or you will just leave the dirt on your face.

9. Use clear nail polish to fix runs in your panty hose.

10. If your I pod or your I phone or your I pad freezes up or isnt working you can force quit by holding the power button and the home button till it shuts off.

Behind the Scenes: A kiss in the rain

  

       I have always had a dream about sharing that perfect moment under a shower of rain. Being so in love that the world stops spinning every time your eyes meet and that even though your getting soaked to the bone in a horrendous down pour you have to stop in that moment for kiss. Then to share a laugh as you run for cover after that perfect moment.
      I have a painting that I did of a couple standing in the rain kissing. It is one of my most prized possessions and always hangs in the center of my wall. When someone asks about it I always tell them the story if that perfect kiss. And always with good intentions the guys try and make it happen. But its not something that can be forced or a moment that can be made. And while all those kisses were special they just were not THAT kiss. That kiss is something that I have yet to find. But a dream that will never die.    If you have shared that perfect moment in a down pour of rain or perhaps somewhere else that is totally insane email me your story so I can share it on my blog! briana.freeland2@gmail.com!

Behind the scenes: Tells

  
  I think every one has their tells. You know a certain way they act when there happy or upset. Once you get to know someone you really figure them out. With out even asking you can tell what they are feeling. This really falls to a best friend someone you have spent hours around and know pretty much every thing about them.
     I used to have people in my life that knew these tells. Some could even tell by a single text message when  I was upset and never failed to ask what was wrong. If any of you read the book Impulse by Ellen Hopkins which I rated in a previous blog she described a girl that I think closely resembles myself. She describes her feelings with colors. Some times she is blissfully riding the white, while other times she is deep into the blue. That's how I am. Up and down on a rainbow rollarcoaster. One moment I am riding the high and the next I deep into the tunnel of blues.
     I blame this on my tendency to over think things. I have so much time to sit and think that I think of all the possible out comes of ever situation and I dwell on the bad ones. I am doing that now. Over thinking my relationship with Starbucks guy. You see with him living 1 hour and a half a way we haven't got to see each all that often. Which makes it hard because we don't know each other as well as we should for having known each other for as long as we have. I don't know his tells and he doesn't know mine. That upsets me. I need time. I want those 3am talks that we only shared once, I want them almost nightly. But it seems to me that we barely talk. And I pointed this out to him but he says we have just run out of things to say. But then why is it that I can sit and talk for hours everyday with someone I have known for years. If we are going to make a life together we have to be able to talk. And I bring this all up because if he would have known my tells he would have known that I have been over thinking things for quite a few days now. But its all things that come with time spent together and we haven't had the privilege to share that time together. I NEED FRIENDS OUT HERE!!

      And a little extra tid bit. I finally got a job after all of my searching.  I will be working for an old man clothing store called Haggars. I am pretty excited :)

Book review: impulse by Ellen Hopkins

Impulse by Ellen Hopkins

Act

                  On your impulse,

                  Swallow the bottle,

                  Cut a little deeper,

                  Put the gun to your chest. 

                  

     Ellen Hopkins is one of my favorite authors. She has a very elegant way with her words as se shapes her stories into poetry. 

      Impulse was no different. Conner, Tony, and Vanessa are three teenagers who's lives never crossed until now. Just like all the rest of Hopkins' novels these characters go through some really trying things. She covers suicide, murder, depression, cutting, being gay, sexual abuse, physical abuse abortion and bi polar disorder. Real issues that not many authors are brave enough to cover in the way Hopkins does. 

      It's a great story but I would grab your tissues before you get to the end! 

I give this story a 4 out of 5 rating. 

Enjoy! 

Scene from the future: The perfect wedding.

Every little girl has a notebook filled with all the doodles and dreams of the perfect wedding. But with today's technology I can really make all my doodles and dreams come to life :). So I hope you enjoy my rendition of the perfect wedding :D

The Perfect Ring

Wedding shower ideas: Buy a white cooking spoon for every person coming to the shower along with a black marker and then have them write their favorite recipe for a good marriage on the spoons.

He Said She Said: A game of quotes. You make a lift of quote said by the couple and the guests guess who said what :)

The Dress: (Well obviously I have to pick one but we will go down that road when the days come.)

Bridesmaid dresses (Again they are just too pretty to pick one just yet!)

Flower Girl Dress or Mini Bride I kinda like the idea of the mini's.

My Hair Style:

Bridesmaid hair:

Wedding poses :)

The entrance to the wedding (Yes the wedding is outside!!)

The entrance to the reception:

 The cake:

The dance Floor:

Random Quotes and Poetry about weddings:

But of course I can't pick everything like the songs or the people in the wedding because that will come with the love that causes the wedding :) , but this is a really good start. All this came from my Pinterest I am positively addicted! I can only imagine how magical this day is going to be!!