Behind the scenes: Tells

  
  I think every one has their tells. You know a certain way they act when there happy or upset. Once you get to know someone you really figure them out. With out even asking you can tell what they are feeling. This really falls to a best friend someone you have spent hours around and know pretty much every thing about them.
     I used to have people in my life that knew these tells. Some could even tell by a single text message when  I was upset and never failed to ask what was wrong. If any of you read the book Impulse by Ellen Hopkins which I rated in a previous blog she described a girl that I think closely resembles myself. She describes her feelings with colors. Some times she is blissfully riding the white, while other times she is deep into the blue. That's how I am. Up and down on a rainbow rollarcoaster. One moment I am riding the high and the next I deep into the tunnel of blues.
     I blame this on my tendency to over think things. I have so much time to sit and think that I think of all the possible out comes of ever situation and I dwell on the bad ones. I am doing that now. Over thinking my relationship with Starbucks guy. You see with him living 1 hour and a half a way we haven't got to see each all that often. Which makes it hard because we don't know each other as well as we should for having known each other for as long as we have. I don't know his tells and he doesn't know mine. That upsets me. I need time. I want those 3am talks that we only shared once, I want them almost nightly. But it seems to me that we barely talk. And I pointed this out to him but he says we have just run out of things to say. But then why is it that I can sit and talk for hours everyday with someone I have known for years. If we are going to make a life together we have to be able to talk. And I bring this all up because if he would have known my tells he would have known that I have been over thinking things for quite a few days now. But its all things that come with time spent together and we haven't had the privilege to share that time together. I NEED FRIENDS OUT HERE!!

      And a little extra tid bit. I finally got a job after all of my searching.  I will be working for an old man clothing store called Haggars. I am pretty excited :)