This morning I woke up and depression hit me like a freight train. I was in a very dark place where it seemed I was even seeing in black and white. I was angry, sad, confused, and heart broken all at the same time. I didn't want to eat and it physically hurt just to be awake. I was nitpicking my life from every angle down to every last detail. I was tearing about relationships in my head and drowning everything in grey. I went to work like this with the "monster" rousing in my stomach.
Then I started talking to my friends. Emsley and B. They gave me some of the most amazing advice and most importantly their time. They didn't make my struggle seem small or insignificant but real. This was B's reply when I told him that it was depression that had me in such a rotten mood.
"Life can be rough!! Yes just an overall feeling with no rhyme or reason. Don't let it spiral too far. Feel it then move on. Can't control how you feel just the way you react. Shit sometimes you just got to fake it cause fake happy is way better then real sad."
I love my friends and I don't know what I would do without them!
The monster is caged right now. I can feel it still struggling to get out but I am a firm control and a desire to keep it down. And all because my friends were there and WANTED me to be happy.
That is the best feeling in the world!
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