It's been awhile since I wrote you. I didn't think I could be more broken then I already was...but I am. I am not as confident you even exist. I'm not even sure I am capable of being loved. The walls around my hear are now incredibly high and I'm not sure you will be able to get in. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I thought I was in love only to give my self to some one who is not you. I am just so desperate to find you. So desperate to find someone who will love me for me and actually treat me like a decent human being. I need you more then you will ever know. I need you to be patient. I need you to be loving. And I probably need more of you then anyone should ever ask. But this broken heart needs healing. I also have a son now. He is gorgeous. His name is Parker Lawrence. Named after my grandpa. I need you to love him too. To give him a father. The one thing I can't provide. I know I'm asking a lot of you but if you really love me you will do all of this anyway. Please be patient with me when I'm upset or scared. I don't know how to be anything else anymore. I said I promised to treat you like a king and I promise I will try but I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I'm capable of giving someone so much love again only to get my heart crushed. You will be the final piece of my puzzle I have always been looking for. And I hope that means you will be able to heal this broken heart. To lead me with grace and strength. To be the strong hand that I need in my life. And in my sons life. For now I'm just waiting for you. I'll pray for you. I already believe in you. That you can be this man I need so don't be scared I will be there to hold your hand. If you need a little healing too that's ok we can do it together. I'll love you always.
Your forever and always.
No comments:
Post a Comment